As the snow was falling down outside today, I started speaking on my first live podcast. The fallen snow making everything new and clean, making all things possible. In the hushed stillness of that moment, it felt like a new beginning. Like everything was suspended in time and the world was holding a collective breath to see what all the years in the wilderness had finally brought forth. What was about to be born as I finally believed enough to invest in myself? Would I be MYSELF, fully and completely, NOW in all my beautiful vulnerability for the world to see (well listen anyway, seeing is to come).
Through the course of the interview, the conversation flowed and I just allowed what was in my heart to come out. I talked about energy, God and our need for touch and connection as social beings. How we become aware of patterns that hold us back, make choices to change them and shift in the process. Honestly there were a lot of things discussed over the 26 minutes or so that I will just have to wait for the recording to hear with my own ears. All I did know in that moment was that I did have the courage to be ME with the audience and for that I was grateful.
Later that day, I reflected on what happened during the podcast as I was shoveling the powdery, white snow. Overall I felt I did well, that I fully represented myself authentically with passion and found myself looking forward to the next session. Truthfully I was mostly thankful in the moment that the snow was light and fluffy since I have five massages tomorrow and a hurt back wouldn’t be good. It still took longer than I thought which left my hands cold and raw. Not the best for someone who “lays hands” for a living. In order to push through and distract myself from my frozen hands, I started thinking about writing. How after the podcast my friend asked if I ever considered doing my own show. How I responded that I am allergic to work but would want to write a book but was afraid. Her response was “Excuse me miss! You’d tell me to get over that fear.” Gotta love when your own teachings come hurling back to you but we often teach what we need the most!
At this point I am still shoveling and as I often do in the quiet moments of completing a task, I found myself starting to write. In my head I was reviewing the day, what I would like to share and found myself taking stock of my life in general. To my surprise, I found my thoughts going toward love for myself and my own new beginning of commitment. For the first time in perhaps ever, I am putting my health and well-being first. Not out of dissatisfaction with myself but because I love who I am and know that I have so much to offer others. That in order to have the energy and stamina required to fulfill my purpose , taking care of me is paramount. Since January 1st, I have committed to doing somatic exercises daily. Now 15 days for 10-15 minutes might not sound like much but for me that is huge! I can’t tell you if I have ever been able to stick to anything like this past a week.
This is uncharted territory for me. I have no idea what is to come but I do know that I love myself and I love the work that I have been blessed to do. Finally helping my fellow man in a way that I truly feel is going to move us all forward. No matter what happens, I believe that I will be up for whatever is to come and welcome the opportunities that will continue to present themselves. May your New Year be filled with new and unexpected beginnings of your own!