Speech given on Thursday, April 12th 2018 by Katrina A. Fritz, MA, BSN, RN at the Annual Altruism Award Banquet hosted by the Travelers Protective Association of America-TPA Post L Lehigh Valley
Thank you Dale, Cathy and the Travelers Protective Association for having me here to speak to you today at the Altruism Awards, I am truly honored.
Of course you were supposed to get my funnier, better half but life throws you curveballs sometimes and you must adjust. My husband is one of the best leaders I know and really wanted to be with all of you tonight. Sometimes a part of being a leader is knowing when you have to ask for help, to step back so someone has the chance to step forward. Rob is very good at that except when it comes to me driving but that is another story for another day.
You are all here tonight because of choices that you have made that led you to this moment. Tonight we celebrate your community service and recognize the difference you have made in the lives of others. My hope tonight is that I can impart some wisdom from my experiences and of those that I admire to help inspire you to continue to make choices that help to positively shape our world.
My name is Katrina Fritz. I studied nursing at Cedar Crest College, have a Masters in Organizational Leadership from Gonzaga University and currently work as a hospital supervisor at St. Luke’s. I am many things – a daughter, mother, wife, nurse, singer, writer, life coach, member of this community – the list could go on but really, none of those things truly represent the whole of Who I am… They are aspects of me, labels we use to identify and make sense of how we fit in society. If I can impress anything upon you, it would be that you should not let labels or judgements by yourself or others limit or define you. Within you is untapped potential and power. Don’t allow anything to dampen your light!
I grew up poor, a child of divorced parents, living with my mom and seeing my dad every Sunday and holiday. Perhaps some of you can relate. That could have defined me. It could have always been my story for myself that I was poor and could do no better. I could have chosen to live in that adversity and not gone to school despite my parents encouragements, nay demands, that I attend college. That could have been the reality I chose but obviously it wasn’t or I wouldn’t be here with you today. I was fortunate to have loving, supportive parents who instilled in me the importance of education, to have teachers that took an interest in me and encouraged me to succeed like Mr. Bonanni and Mr. Phillips and a family that took me in as their own. They helped to shape and guide me to become who I am today. Truly had I not met my husband Rob at the age of 14, his Grammy, and particularly his mom who is here with me tonight – my life would be much different.
Your stories may be similar or they may be entirely different but my hope is that the need to overcome challenges resonates with all of you. We all have the choice of how we handle adversity. Although we may or may not have control over the circumstances, we can choose how we interpret the events and respond. My advice: Don’t Take Anything Personally which comes from the teachings of Don Miguel Ruiz based on Ancient Toltec wisdom called The Four Agreements. Life is not a smooth sail by any stretch of the imagination. It is hard to know what will happen.
Some of you may have already experienced a significant loss that has shaped you. There is little to prepare you for these times. When Rob and I married 25 years ago, we never would have imagined losing his younger brother at the age of 34 or how that loss would devastate our marriage and family. We were in unchartered territory for sure and it was rough going for quite a while but we always knew that we would find our way. Hopefully by my sharing tonight it will help you be able to move through your challenging times in life with more grace and confidence than I have with mine. Truly to overcome challenges and to not take things personally takes courage which in the words of Maya Angelou is of the utmost importance because “without courage we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency… We can’t be kind, true, merciful, generous or honest.” When we act with courage, we are able to understand that nothing others say or do is because of us, but their own projection of reality, and we are no longer victims to the opinions or actions of others. It is what we think, feel and do that is important. We have the power of choice to create our own reality. Choose wisely….
One of my better choices was marrying my husband. Rob and I are big football fans and believe it or not, we actually spent our 1st anniversary in Pittsburgh at a Steelers game. So when he was initially giving this speech, I had found this Vince Lombardi quote. I felt it would be appropriate since our team has received the trophy that bears his name, six times… “The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.” What this quote illustrates, highlights what Rob wanted to impart to each of you was that you need to distinguish yourself on your path to success. My contribution was to add another of the Four Agreements – Always Do Your Best.
Your best is going to change from moment to moment and will be different based on your health – both mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. So under any circumstances, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgement and regret. For example, many of you will be applying for positions at some point where there will be many well qualified candidates with similar backgrounds. How will you do your best to distinguish yourself from the pack? To highlight what you and you alone bring to the team? Spend time reflecting to truly know yourself so that you can fully and creatively answer the questions to set yourself apart. Rob’s advice is to give specific examples of the skills you have such as being a good listener or communicator. Don’t just say you’re a people person for instance, explain why. Most times it is your education and experience that have earned you the opportunity to interview but it is likely to be your personality, attitude and ability to articulate those qualities that will distinguish you as a candidate.
A great, distinguished man once said, “ I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.” Our 16th president, Abraham Lincoln was a man ahead of his times and knew the importance of both embracing diversity and Not Making Assumptions. There is a lot of research done now on team diversity and President Lincoln’s Cabinet called the Team of Rivals is often cited. Lincoln knew the importance of difference. That although it can be uncomfortable and at times contentious, it also makes us all better. If you follow just this one agreement of Don’t Make Assumptions, you can completely transform your life. Be curious, not furious when you encounter difference.
As a nurse working in healthcare, it is hard to imagine a much more diverse environment. It is part of the nursing philosophy to approach the patient holistically. To see them, understand them and treat the whole person respectfully. In my career, people are human and do make assumptions but truly the best interactions are when we really see, hear and understand one another. When we use the art of listening to not just reply and share our opinion but to really seek to understand the person, we are communicating with and get to know them on a deeper, more authentic level. That is where we find common ground and realize we have much more in common than we do differences.
Another great man who knew a thing or two about failure but also service and inspiring others was Winston Churchill. He’s quoted as saying, “You make a living by what you earn, You make a life by what you give.” That is why we are all here tonight. To acknowledge your altruistic contributions and reinforcing how important it is to make a difference in other people’s lives. One way to do this is simply to follow the last of the Four Agreements, Be Impeccable with Your Word. Ensure that you speak with integrity by only saying what you mean and avoid using your word to speak against yourself and others. Your words are powerful just as you are powerful. Use your words and actions for truth and love to help yourself and others to live your best lives.
Earlier I told you about losing my brother-in-law. As an only child, I considered him my baby brother and took his loss very hard. It was through Mike that I became an alternative high school counselor and met Sarah, one of the students, who I stayed in connection with after leaving that position. I have mentored her through many years and life events including the loss of her mother. During her time of relapse, I had to set boundaries with her and pray that it would all work out. Thankfully it did and 17 years later, I can honestly say that I am so proud of the woman that she has become. Mike stayed in the counseling role until his death and when he died, our family wanted to give something in his honor to the kids for whom he had dedicated his life’s work. Delivering the sports equipment that day was quite moving, it felt good. That act inspired in me the desire to do more. After that time, I became the youth group leader in our church up until returning to school to pursue servant-leadership. Since that time, I have been using the skills I have learned to help others learn more about themselves to live healthy, balanced, full, meaningful, purpose filled lives.
As my family and friends can attest, it has take me a long time to find and embrace my life’s purpose. Although there were many years of uncertainty, no experience is wasted. Everything can be used to refine who you are and help you to remember why you are here. To make the world a better place as only you can. So live in the moment and grasp opportunities when they present themselves. Make memories and laugh often. Love yourself and others because truly we are interdependent on one another and what happens to one affects us all. Let people know that you love them and forgive easily. Life is too short to spend angry, fearful or full of guilt and regret. Do things that make your soul sing. Find joy and wonder in things both big and small.
As I was looking for quotes on my phone to prepare for this speech, I stumbled upon one of my previous, random thoughts – one day, I will help shape the world. It seemed to pop out at me and I wondered why I said, one day? Life waits for no one. It happens moment by moment and passes in a blink of an eye. Many of you will soon be going to college. You will never have more time to discover yourself and the world than in these next years. Savor and make the most of the time. Do not prepare for one day but live everyday, fully engaged and present. We are all participants in this collective experience we call life and are shaping our realities every moment. Some may seem bigger and more impactful but each and every one of us is contributing to our world every day. How do you want to live this one bright life that you have been given?
We have one life but many moments and opportunities to craft the life we want and to create the world in which we want to live. You are all here tonight because of the choices you have made to make this world a better place. We applaud you and encourage you to continue to look for the moments where you can make a difference in the life of others. To take the spirit of altruism into your daily life by doing unselfish acts. Random acts of kindness, mentoring, volunteering, treating yourself and others with respect, it all adds up and in the end creates something greater than any act alone could have accomplished. Go forward and shine your lights. As Gandhi said, “make this world a better place by being the change you seek.” Thank you and congratulations again.
